WASHINGTON– As China continues sending the world their best, Joe Biden lashed out at Donald Trump, calling the president the “worst possible person” for failing to protect America’s alcohol.
During happy hour at a local pub in Washington, Biden told a group of beer drinkers that Trump’s handling of the Corona epidemic is unacceptable and it further proves that the president is unfit to serve and should be impeached immediately, or at least be forced to try and beat Nancy Pelosi in a drinking game of beer pong.
After inspecting the pub’s Corona beer supply by sampling it, Biden asked one of the bar’s regular customers Norm Peterson to post a message to his official Twitter account because he was too sloshed to see the screen.
“Trump’s demonstrated failures of judgment,” the drunken bar customer tweeted on Biden’s twitter page, “and his repeated rejection of science make him the worst possible person to save our country’s bars, pubs, and liquor stores.”
The former Vice President suggested that if he were president he would immediately close off every bar across the United States and personally go around testing every single bottle of Corona beer himself in an effort to save the American people from the viral epidemic.
“To be blunt, if you want something done right then you have to do it yourself,” Biden said proudly as he took the opportunity to win over potential voters by buying them all a round and putting it on Barack Obama’s bar tab.
Once he propped himself back up, he added, “The Trump administration’s short-sighted policies have left us unprepared for a dangerous alcohol shortage which will come sooner or later. This beer won’t drink itself, ya know.”
Over 100 people are being investigated in the U.S. for potential Corona beer intoxication, and another 3,000 people are being screened for only being slightly tipsy.
