SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA– A husband and wife are at their wits end due to their 9 year old son refusing to give up vaping and his use of dangerous e-cigarettes in favor of the much safer alternative of smoking unfiltered cigarettes.
Parents Adam and Nancy Fumar have been urging their stubborn son Jerry to give up his nasty, unhealthy vaping habit ever since he gave up smoking cigarettes when he was 7 years old.
A frustrated Adam fears that his little Jerry is never going to be able to get into a prestigious liberal college if he can’t get the boy to start ingesting nicotine again, which has been shown to have a very profound effect on naive students.
Mom Nancy says she has been very proactive in trying to get her son to take up smoking again, such as leaving packs of cigarettes under his pillow at night, putting lit cigarettes inside his bedroom to inundate his tiny lungs with the much healthier smoke, and reading him bedtime stories where the good guys always save the day by smoking.
“I don’t know what else to do,” said Nancy with tears as little Jerry blew e-cigarette smoke in her face. “I never vaped in my entire life. When I was pregnant with my boy I used to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, hoping he’d become addicted to something good for him. Now look at him.”
Both Adam and Nancy have reason to be concerned, as many researchers are coming out of the smoky closet with the news that cigarettes are, not only safer than vaping, but are considered cooler than vaping when trying to attract the opposite sex.
Due to all the recent negative press regarding the dangers of e-cigarettes, the American Cigarette Association has launched a $2 billion ad campaign to push the healthier habit of smoking back into people’s lungs.
