ATLANTA, GEORGIA– A major controversy regarding Donald Trump and his crooked tie have become the latest evidence against the president in regards to his role in the further annihilation of the once beautiful United States of America.
There has been a lot of talk swirling around lately within reputable mainstream news media outlet circles like CNN and MSNBC about how Trump’s crooked ties are irrefutable proof that he is unfit to serve as President of the United States and that he should be impeached immediately without due process.
During last night’s dependable Reliable Sources program, quirky host Brian Stelter devoted a full three hours into the investigation of Trump’s recently disheveled tie, with numerous CNN expert guests backing up the crooked tie claims.
“This is a serious offense,” Stelter started off saying as his guests studied their cue cards. “Our sources have come forward with damning evidence that President Trump’s crooked tie is involved in quid pro quo with a local Chinese laundromat in Washington.”
Stelter went on to say that the unnamed source didn’t exactly specify which Chinese laundromat Trump’s tie used to leverage a deal to get dirt removed from its fabric.
“We have enough evidence though,” Stelter added as he sweated into his eyelids, “that Trump’s crooked tie used its powerful ‘Trump’ name to gain influence at the Chinese laundromat to work out a deal for a lower dry cleaning bill.”
Even though the guests disagreed about a few things, they all agreed that Trump’s crooked tie is a sign that he’s absolutely insane and a danger to the public.
Tie-Gate has become the number one trending hashtag on Twitter.
This isn’t the first time that Trump’s crooked tie made headlines for collusion. Back in February’s State of the Union address, Trump’s crooked tie gave news media outlets enough material to make a thousand ties.
One of Stelter’s guests, a college professor from Bupkis University of California, backed up the host’s concerns that Trump’s crooked tie is in fact a sign that Trump suffers from severe psychological issues and that he should be removed from office due to sheer incompetence.
“Is Trump too tired to competently serve as president?” Stelter asked as the show ran two hours longer than expected due to the serious topic. “My totally unbiased answer would probably kind of be, maybe perhaps.”
