GHOST TOWN, ARKANSAS– A Ghost Town man who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth is on thin ice after being arrested for killing two birds with one stone. Animal activists were on cloud nine once they heard the news.
According to authorities, Rob Peter Topaypaul, 27, got into some monkey business last Friday when he got fed up with eating crow. That’s when the self-proclaimed couch potato opened up a can of worms by making two innocent birds kick the bucket.
“Talk is cheap, but I’d say that we were on the ball,” bragged Chief Real McCoy to reporters. “We truly burnt the midnight oil with this case. Not to let the cat of the bag too early, but the suspect was caught red-handed after breaking a leg while trying to drive police up a wall.”
The suspect Topaypaul insists that he is going to turn over a new leaf and agrees with authorities that’s it’s time to face the music.
“I was between a rock and a hard place,” Topaypaul said from his jail cell. “Honestly, I’m a down to earth guy. The bottom line is, I’ve been down in the dumps after my girlfriend’s been a little under the weather. I’m not trying to make excuses, but she’s been giving me the cold shoulder lately, saying she’s had a change of heart.”
When asked for a penny for his thoughts on why he wears his heart on his sleeve for his now former girlfriend, Topaypaul held his tongue only saying that she has completely lost her mind.
