KABUL, AFGHANISTAN– While on location in Afghanistan shooting a candy commercial for the big holiday, the world-famous Easter bunny was captured by an anti-American holiday terrorist group named SCROTUM, which stands for Sit Close Regardless Of The Uncomfortable Member.
The rabbit, who spent the last two weeks in Kabul for the commercial, was last seen at a bar picking up two local prostitutes who turned out to be members of the deadly SCROTUM group.
The Easter bunny is widely known for picking up prostitutes prior to the holiday, because prostitutes are willing to dye hard-boiled eggs at a much cheaper salary than illegal immigrant workers in the United States.
Little is known about the nefarious terrorist group, other than the fact that SCROTUM has grown exponentially within the last few years. Members of SCROTUM, who refer to themselves as “hairs”, are responsible for more pain and discomfort than other groups in the world.
Just last month, SCROTUM hairs claimed responsibility for an attack on a group of women. All the women survived the attack, but claimed that they were tortured by being constantly slammed and hit with blue balls that were stuffed into sacks.
SCROTUM hairs uploaded a video to YouTube of the Easter bunny blindfolded and holding up a sign. SCROTUM is demanding a hundred thousand dollars and a lifetime supply of razors and baby powder. No word on whether any of the world’s leaders are willing to give in to the demands of SCROTUM.
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars