DETROIT, MICHIGAN– A major mix-up happened in Detroit last week when the city water company mistakenly dumped bags of anxiety drug Xanax into the water supply instead of the usual bags of poisonous fluoride that officials around the country deem necessary to assist those who forget to brush their teeth.
A spokesman for the water company says that they mistakenly received a delivery of Xanax bags that was supposed to go to Hollywood, California.
“I guess we’ll see lots of celebrities with nice teeth now,” joked Kyle Marshall of the Detroit Watered Down Company. “But seriously, we’re doing everything we can to rectify the situation, such as pumping bags of steroids back into the water supply to get our people back to normal.”
According to police statistics, after inundating Detroit’s water supply with the anxiety medication, crime has almost become nonexistent.
“I might be out of a job soon,” joked Captain Lenny Whitmore as he chewed on Xanax gum. “But seriously, we’re doing everything we can to get this situation back under control. We’ve already dumped a few hundred pounds of steroids into the water supply and drug manufacturers are sending us double the supply of fluoride at no additional cost. Don’t worry, our citizens will be smiling bright once again.”
Unfortunately, no citizens were available for an interview due to the fact that almost the entire city stayed indoors and relaxed.
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