LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– A housefly that was on late musician Prince’s bedroom wall the day that he admitted who his real relatives were testified under oath this morning, according to the court handling the heir case.
The housefly, who at the time of the Prince incident was only 3 days old but has been kept alive since then with excruciating life-extending technology, was required to answer several questions about everything that Prince said on that day. Lawyers for the family of Prince stated that they hope the fly will corroborate their claim that they are in fact related to the late singer.
“The fly was on the wall that day and heard everything,” said Kipple McVastington, a lawyer on the Prince heir case. “Most people only dream of having the opportunity to be a fly on the wall, not just in this case, but in many-many others. Personally, I could’ve used this fly on the day my wife claimed that she wasn’t cheating on me. Every one of my neighbors stated that they saw a 300 pound man wearing clown makeup climbing out my bedroom window, but she denies it. I guess I’ll never know.”
After testifying, the housefly gave a brief statement on the courthouse steps.
“Everybody always thinks it would be so great,” the fly started to say angrily, “to be a fly on the wall and to be able to hear all sorts of juicy gossip. Well, I’m here to tell all you wishful humans that there’s nothing great about having your wings strapped down to a piece of Styrofoam with sharp pins while poisonous chemicals are injected into your body just to keep you alive long enough so that you can testify in some money-hungry heir case.”
The “When Doves Cry” singer was known to always keep his windows open at night, which is how the fly got into this mess in the first place.
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