Must See: Chimp Evolves Into Man Overnight, Proves Evolution Once And For All

BRONX, NEW YORK– An earth-shattering discovery was made last night at the Bronx Zoo when one of the resident chimpanzee’s named Binky evolved into a human in less than 24 hours, making this the greatest evidence ever for proof of the theory of evolution.

At a symposium of the Sciences held inside of the Bronx Zoo’s chimpanzee cage, Dr. Watson Darwin, the great-great-great grandson of Charles Darwin’s mailman, showed a crowd of 2,000 people and news reporters from around the world the breathtaking evidence of the chimpanzee’s transformation.

“This’s the greatest discovery in the history of mankind,” said Dr. Darwin as a projection screen behind him showed numerous photos of the chimp Binky’s transformation to a human. “Not only have we definitively proved the theory of evolution with last night’s historical event, we also have a real human man who can now give us insight into the mind of a chimpanzee.”

After showing reporters photos of Binky’s feces, Dr. Darwin went on.

“I had a lengthy conversation with the transformed chimp this morning,” he said with gleeful eyes. “Astoundingly, this new human already has a complete human vocabulary. Binky spoke to me about various zoo procedures, which we believe he picked up from Bronx Zoo personnel that he had interacted with while still a chimp.”

When asked if the new human will have any trouble acclimating to life as a human, Dr. Darwin was hesitant.

“Well, it will take some getting used to,” he admitted as the new human Binky stood behind him and threw feces into the crowd. “Having lived his entire life as a chimp, Binky will have to be inundated with a constant exposure of human activities, such as reality shows, text messaging, and uploading videos to YouTube. We’ve already given Binky his own Facebook and Instagram accounts, but unfortunately he keeps friending other animals, not humans. It’ll be an uphill struggle for a while, but it’s worth it.”

Look for Binky the chimp human to appear on the cover of every single magazine around the entire world, except for Saudi Arabia where chimpanzees are outlawed due to their ability to blend in while out in public.

Sources say that Hollywood is already in talks to make a movie based on Binky’s evolution.