BAGHDAD, IRAQ– Leading Hollywood actor George Clooney has recently joined Islamic terrorist group ISIS as research for an upcoming film role that is based on the infamous terrorist group of the same name.
In a one on one interview inside of an underground ISIS bunker with Entertainment Tonight’s Kevin Frazier, George Clooney explained in vague detail why he not only decided to make such a controversial movie, befittingly titled Ocean’s Fourteen, but also why he insisted on joining the dangerous terrorist group ISIS against everyone’s wishes.
“This’ll be the first movie that looks at the world through the veiled eyes of ISIS,” Clooney explained, covered from head to toe in all-black attire. “Unfortunately, we only get to see things from the victim’s perspective, ya know, those guys on the receiving end, but we haven’t been able to understand what’s going on in the minds of these crazy terrorist guys. Until now, that is.”
Out of respect, Kevin Frazier flirted with Clooney before asking all the pertinent questions. “So, George, what gives? I mean, it’s one thing to make a movie about this sorta thing, but to actually join ISIS? Wow, I can’t believe how handsome you look, even though I can only see your beautiful brown eyes.”
“Thanks, Kevo,” Clooney joked, taking a butter knife out of his black pants pocket and holding it in front of Frazier’s startled face. “But seriously, have you ever seen a knife as shiny as this one? One of my bunk-mates Allabad Shaleem Jr. gave this to me. This’s the only utensil he says is worthy enough to cut through halal pork.”
“Easy with that big thing,” Kevin squealed, tapping Clooney on the thigh. “Wow, George, you really look like an authentic terrorist with that big knife in your hand.”
After pocketing the butter knife, Clooney looked down and then looked up, giving Frazier the cutest scarfed look. “That’s right, Kevo. Let’s just hope the audience is as impressed with my acting abilities as you are.”
“In the movie you play Islamic bad guy Danny Ocean,” Kevin continued, giggling awkwardly. “Tell us how this role will be received by critics. In other words, are you gonna be showing off any skin? A bath down by the Euphrates River perhaps?”
“Ha, you wish, Kevo,” Clooney joked again, pointing behind Frazier’s head. “Hey, uh, Kevo, looks like someone’s holding a knife to the back of your head.”
Startled, Frazier jumped up out of his seat, only to see that no one was behind him. “Got me again, George,’ he giggled as Clooney slapped his knee.
“Gotcha again, Kevo.”
Look for Ocean’s Fourteen this summer in undisclosed theaters due to threats of attack.
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