CHEYENNE, WYOMING– In a move meant to bolster relations with Thailand and also to help pay off some of the debt to China, the United States government has sold the state of Wyoming to Thailand for $1200, leading some experts to call this the worst deal Thailand has ever made.
As part of a new program to bring some of the lucrative transgendered sex trade business into America, Washington has confirmed that the deal was a no-brainer and a huge win for the United States.
“I hate to say it, but we got over on the Thai government,” laughed Congressman Mike Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania as he looked over a Thai brochure. “This’s probably the best deal the United States has made since we purchased Alaska from those red communist guys.”
According to a national survey, 95% of American men voted in favor of this deal, while a paltry 32% of women were skeptical.
“I don’t know if this was the right idea,” 37 year old Linda Fossbenner said to a news reporter with her giddy husband by her side. “Sure, this deal’s gonna help the American economy get back on its feet with the increase in revenue coming in from the ladyboy sex trade, but what’s this gonna do to our illegal American prostitution business? We have to stop bringing in foreign workers who’re taking jobs away from real Americans.”
The new Thai sex trade will not only hurt local sex trade businesses, but airline companies will also take a hit due to thousands of American men not having to spend money on air travel to go to Thailand to partake in the down-low activities.
“This’s going to benefit everyone,” Fitzpatrick insisted as he showed news reporters a confusing graph of the financial numbers. “Not only will the United States make millions of dollars off of this deal, but just think about all the tourists who’ll come over to the U.S. now for all their family vacations, wives spending money on souvenirs while husbands frequent our gorgeous ladyboys of the night. Not to mention the fact that we finally got rid of that worthless state of Wyoming. I mean, c’mon, enough with the never-ending fields and farms.”
When asked by a reporter how the United States will profit from this deal when Wyoming was actually sold to Thailand, Fitzpatrick was baffled. “Uh, good question. To be honest, I don’t think the boys in Washington thought that far ahead.”
Wasting no time, Thailand has already sent two million sex workers into the United States and another fifty-thousand pimps will be arriving by early next week.
In related news, biopharmaceutical company Gilead has had requests for orders of millions of bottles of HIV medication Truvada.
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