Federal Judge Orders Trump To Return Released American Hostage Back To The Taliban
U.S.-- Uh-oh. A federal judge has ruled against President Donald Trump once…
Canada Government Relieved After Hearing Executed Canadian Citizens In China Were Actually Just Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After initially being angry at China for executing four Canadian…
Leftist Neuralink Recipient Places ‘I Got This Implant Before Elon Musk Went Crazy’ Sticker On Forehead
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In protest of her newfound hatred for Elon Musk,…
4D Chess: Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Federal Judges From Blocking His Executive Orders
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to stop activist judges from slowing down his…
Canada’s Liberal Party Unveils New Campaign Slogan: ‘Orange Man Bad’
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After mulling over a few ideas for a new campaign…
Released JFK Files Reveal President Was Assassinated Because Street Was Too Sloped For Secret Service
WASHINGTON-- The long-awaited JFK Files have been released, finally revealing that John…
Antelope Leader Begins Importing Lions Into Their Herd To Make It More Diverse
AFRICA-- A newly elected leader of an antelope herd has been facing…
Discontented Zelensky Reminisces About The Good Old Days When A Corrupt, Senile U.S. President Would Just Send Him Billions Every Week
KIEV, UKRAINE-- Struggling to make ends meet and not getting the blind…
St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun Beaten, Robbed After Mistakenly Wandering Into Immigrant No-Go Zone Of Ireland
BALLYHAUNIS, IRELAND-- Authorities have reported that the famous Leprechaun was beaten and…
CNN: Trump Violently Attacks Reporter’s Microphone With His Face
JOINT BASE ANDREWS, MARYLAND-- The world's most trusted news source CNN has…
Emperor-Appointed Judge Orders Rebel Alliance Not To Destroy Death Star
CORUSCANT-- The Rebel Alliance were forced to cease operations and leave the…
Nancy Pelosi Offers To Take All The U.S. Alcohol Canada Removed From Their Stores
WASHINGTON-- After hearing that Canada was removing all US liquor from their…
