PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA– Having run out of ideas on how to suppress his citizens any further, Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un was said to be studying the dictator of the United Kingdom Keir Starmer after learning that the UK had even less free speech than North Korea.
According to sources within North Korea, Kim Jong Un was said to be “highly impressed” with the way Prime Minister Starmer was subjugating UK citizens by arresting people for social media posts or for merely having naughty thoughts within their heads.
“Wow, and I thought I was a tyrant,” said Kim Jong Un in admiration to one of his generals as they watched Starmer on a big screen television. “So, in the United Kingdom this Keir Starmer actually arrests his citizens just for their thoughts? Why haven’t you guys ever thought of this? What am I not paying you for?”
Kim admitted privately that he was a little jealous of all of the publicity Starmer has been getting for the way the prime minister has been taking UK suppression to the next level of totalitarianism.
After having all of his top generals executed for not coming up with any more ways to squash people’s freedoms, Kim sent an invitation to ask PM Starmer to visit North Korea to teach him how to be a more competent dictator and to share some different ideas on how to crush dissent.
