LONDON– As a way to strengthen ties between the United Kingdom and the European Union, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer got down on his hands and knees and began polishing the shoes of EU leaders in a show of subservience to his new globalist overlords.
During a recent summit meeting between the UK prime minister and EU leaders, Keir Starmer stated that he wanted to work out a deal that would benefit everyone except for citizens of the UK and would begin the process of quietly giving complete control back to Brussels.
“This is a total win for the United Kingdom,” said PM Keir Starmer while down on his knees spit-shining Ursula von der Leyen’s shoes. “For far too long, Britain has had way too much dangerous freedom, and I believe the best way to reverse that would be to work out a deal with the European Union that would benefit everyone except for UK citizens. I plan on showing the true strength of the office of the prime minister by shining the shoes of every one of my new EU bosses.”
Reform Party leader Nigel Farage called Starmer’s actions an embarrassment to Britain, with the prime minister later removing the EU leaders’ shoes to then wash their feet with his tongue.
At publishing time, Starmer stated that he would be replacing the outdated red, white, and blue Union Jack flag of the United Kingdom with a more modern blue flag with a circle of twelve yellow stars in the middle.
