Biden Tells Maui Victims He Knows How They Feel Due To The Time He Burnt His Tongue On Buffalo Chicken Wings
MAUI, HAWAII-- After waiting two weeks to visit Maui to make sure the money he sent to Ukraine had cleared first, an empathetic Joe Biden told all the victims of…
Biden Comes Out As Gay, Says He’s Been Dating Robert L. Peters Behind Wife Jill’s Back
WASHINGTON-- Unable to hide his sexuality any longer due to the recent news concerning the elusive Robert L. Peters, Joe Biden has officially come out as gay and said that…
Bored Cat Goes On Vacation By Sitting At Different House Window
CONCORD, NEW HAMPSHIRE-- Tired of his mundane life and looking for something to do to energize his apathetic spirit, a local bored cat named Buster decided to take a huge…
Robert L. Peters Surfaces, Says Biden’s A Good Man Who Hasn’t Committed Any Crimes
WASHINGTON-- After the major news broke accusing Joe Biden of using the alias Robert L. Peters to commit crimes, an older man with white hair and mustache who eerily resembled…
Georgia Indictment Against Trump Dropped After He Says He Identifies As Stacey Abrams
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- The indictment against Donald Trump for allegedly trying to overturn the 2020 presidential election has been officially dropped after the former president went on national television dressed in…
While Biden Relaxes At Beach, Liberals Ask Why Hasn’t Trump Done Anything For Hawaii
U.S.-- As President Joe Biden relaxes on the beach while wildfires ravage the Hawaiian island of Maui, angry liberals across the United States are wondering why did Donald Trump let…
Trump Indicted For Killing Kenny
SOUTH PARK, COLORADO-- The Department of Justice has indicted Donald Trump once again, announcing that they have irrefutable proof that the former president has killed cartoon elementary student Kenny McCormick…
Biden Flies To Ukraine To Assess Damages From Hawaii Fires
KIEV, UKRAINE-- In order to get as much relief as possible to the Hawaiian island of Maui, President Joe Biden personally flew over to Ukraine to assess the damages caused…
FBI Raids Bird Nest Then Shoots Pigeon That Pooped On Biden’s Shoulder
WASHINGTON-- A dangerous domestic terrorist pigeon that attacked Joe Biden by pooping on him has been neutralized after FBI agents dressed in full tactical gear raided the bird's nest and…
Megan Rapinoe Says Trump Made Her Miss Penalty Kick During World Cup Soccer Game
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-- After costing her team an embarrassing loss to Sweden in the World Cup Finals by missing a penalty kick, U.S. Women's soccer player Megan Rapinoe said during an…
Putin Surrenders After ‘White Lizzo’ Chris Christie Goes Twerking While In Ukraine
KIEV, UKRAINE-- Russian President Vladimir Putin has officially surrendered and has begun withdrawing his troops from Ukraine after former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie went to Ukraine and began twerking…
Biden Administration Hires More Border Patrol Agents To Assist Illegals In Crossing Border
WASHINGTON-- In order to better assist illegal aliens looking to cross into the United States illegally, the Biden administration has hired thousands of extra Border Patrol agents to help hold…
