John Cena Gets Neutered Live On Stage At The Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- The Oscars awards show was a big hit last night and the highlight of the evening was WWE wrestler and current actor John Cena walking out onto the…
Jimmy Kimmel Promises He’ll Try Not To Talk About Trump Too Much At Tonight’s Oscars
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- Late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel announced Sunday morning that he was all ready for tonight's Oscars award program and made a solemn promise to everyone that he…
New York Times: ‘People Who Meme Politicians Should Be Investigated,’ Says Newspaper That Made Political Cartoons For Decades
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- A recent article from one of America's oldest newspapers The New York Times has called for people who post mean memes of politicians online to be…
After Tyson Match, Jake Paul To Fight 94-Year-Old 1940s Boxer Barney Stewart
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Already planning his next boxing match after fighting 57-year-old Mike Tyson, YouTuber turned boxer Jake Paul, 27, was proud to announce that his next opponent in the…
Mark Zuckerberg Checks Twitter X To See Why Facebook And Instagram Are Down
MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA-- Millions of people around the world were in a panic this morning after Meta platforms Facebook and Instagram went down, including CEO Mark Zuckerberg who was forced…
After Winning Washington DC, Nikki Haley Says She’s One Step Closer To Being Able To Start World War 3
WASHINGTON-- After winning Washington, DC in the Republican primary, presidential candidate Nikki Haley gave a celebratory speech in front of a massive crowd of five people and said that she…
FBI Arrests Squirrel That Wandered Haplessly Near Capitol Building On January 6
WASHINGTON-- Brave FBI agents are being heralded as heroes for arresting a squirrel that happened to be running near the Capitol Building on January 6 and have charged the racist…
Rishi Sunak Promises He’s Not Lying, Despite Nose Growing On Camera
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM-- After facing yet more criticism for being accused of lying, UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak gave a press conference to tell all his naysayers that he has…
Biden Closes Border Immediately After Seeing Illegal Aliens Chanting ‘Trump’
WASHINGTON-- Only hours after going down to the Texas border for his pre-election photo op, Joe Biden became incensed after seeing hundreds of illegal aliens chanting "Trump for President" and…
192-Year-Old Ghoul Mitch McConnell Says His Political Career’s Far From Over
WASHINGTON-- As soon as the news had spread that Mitch McConnell was stepping down from his position as GOP Senate leader, the Kentucky Republican was quick to set the record…
Satan Welcomes Home Favorite Son Jacob Rothschild
HELL-- Financier and one of the wealthiest people in the world Jacob Rothschild died this week and no one was happier than his father Satan, the Prince of Darkness himself.…
RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel Resigns To Have More Time Destroying Republicans From Behind The Scenes
WASHINGTON-- It's official. Ronna McDaniel announced that she has resigned from her position as RNC chair in order to be able to spend more time taking down the Republican party…
