Chewbacca Furious At Barber After Saying Only Take A Little Off The Top
MOS EISLEY-- While waiting at the Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine, Wookiee Chewbacca visited the local barber to get a little trim before takeoff and was livid once he looked…
Nancy Pelosi’s Nose Starts Growing Suddenly While Touting Biden’s Flourishing Economy
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has been making the news rounds recently in an effort to stop Donald Trump from becoming president and…
Biden Bans TikTok After Video Service Forgets To Give 10 Percent To The Big Guy
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has officially signed into law a controversial bill that could permanently ban TikTok, and the president was quick to tell the Chinese-owned video sharing service that the…
Biden And Howard Stern Reminisce About All The Times They Were Racist
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- It was a nostalgic day for both President Joe Biden and shock-jock Howard Stern as the two men laughed and joked while reminiscing about all…
Obama Drone Strikes Pizza Delivery Guy After Being Late With His Order
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- After not receiving his pizza within the promised thirty minute window, incensed former President Barack Obama was left with no other choice but to attack an innocent civilian…
San Francisco Thieves Steal Adam Schiff’s Suit While He’s Still Wearing It
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- While giving a speech touting how crime is down thanks to Democrat policies, California Rep. Adam Schiff was robbed in broad daylight in front of a crowd…
Australia Prime Minister Issues Arrest Warrant For Pepe The Frog
CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA-- Following through with his threat to censor all memes and jokes in Australia, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has issued a serious arrest warrant for one of the world's…
Biden And AOC Tackle Age-Old Climate Change Question Of Whether A Bear Really Does Crap In The Woods
TRIANGLE, VIRGINIA-- During an Earth Day event at Prince William Forest Park, President Joe Biden and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) came together to tackle one of the biggest climate change questions…
Elmo Caught Celebrating With Zelensky After Congress Passed $95 Billion Ukraine Aid
KIEV, UKRAINE-- After the US Congress passed the bipartisan $95 billion aid package for Ukraine, beloved Sesame Street actor Elmo was seen celebrating with his good friend President Volodymyr Zelensky…
April 20 Capitol Insurrection Was Literally Worse Than 911 And World War 2 Combined
WASHINGTON-- One of the worst events in history happened on April 20 after a large group of insurrectionists stormed the Capitol Building waving flags of a corrupt foreign country before…
Kamala Harris: ‘No One Should Be Jailed For Weed,’ Says Person Who Jailed Thousands For Weed
WASHINGTON-- As the crucial presidential election draws closer, Vice President Kamala Harris has stated emphatically that no one should go to jail for smoking weed, totally glossing over the fact…
Mike Johnson Says He Wasn’t Wearing His Glasses When He Passed Ukraine Bill
WASHINGTON-- After receiving backlash on social media from his constituents for passing the foreign aid Ukraine bill, Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson said the reason he passed the foreign aid-only…
