Amazon UK Announces New James Bond Will Remain A British Male
UNITED KINGDOM-- Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news regarding their new James Bond film franchise, revealing that the 007 secret agent in the new films will…
Bernie Sanders Enters And Already Drops Out Of 2028 Presidential Race To Endorse Hillary Clinton Again
U.S.-- During his countrywide "Fight Oligarchy" tour, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders made a stunning announcement that he had entered into the 2028 presidential race, only moments later to break the…
Federal Judge Orders Trump To Return Released American Hostage Back To The Taliban
U.S.-- Uh-oh. A federal judge has ruled against President Donald Trump once again. After the Trump administration was able to successfully negotiate the release of an American citizen who was…
Canada Government Relieved After Hearing Executed Canadian Citizens In China Were Actually Just Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After initially being angry at China for executing four Canadian citizens, the Canadian government was later extremely relieved once the Chinese Communist Party explained to them that the…
Leftist Neuralink Recipient Places ‘I Got This Implant Before Elon Musk Went Crazy’ Sticker On Forehead
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In protest of her newfound hatred for Elon Musk, a radical leftist woman with a Neuralink implant has recently placed an "I Got This Implant Before Elon…
4D Chess: Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Federal Judges From Blocking His Executive Orders
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to stop activist judges from slowing down his America first agenda, President Donald Trump signed an executive order prohibiting federal judges from ruling against his executive…
Canada’s Liberal Party Unveils New Campaign Slogan: ‘Orange Man Bad’
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After mulling over a few ideas for a new campaign slogan for their upcoming election, the Liberal Party of Canada finally decided to settle on the apt "Orange…
Released JFK Files Reveal President Was Assassinated Because Street Was Too Sloped For Secret Service
WASHINGTON-- The long-awaited JFK Files have been released, finally revealing that John F. Kennedy was assassinated because the street his car was driving on was too sloped for the Secret…
Antelope Leader Begins Importing Lions Into Their Herd To Make It More Diverse
AFRICA-- A newly elected leader of an antelope herd has been facing criticism from its fellow antelopes for the controversial decision to start importing lions into their herd in order…
Discontented Zelensky Reminisces About The Good Old Days When A Corrupt, Senile U.S. President Would Just Send Him Billions Every Week
KIEV, UKRAINE-- Struggling to make ends meet and not getting the blind support he was used to getting the last few years, disaffected President Zelensky took time out of his…
St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun Beaten, Robbed After Mistakenly Wandering Into Immigrant No-Go Zone Of Ireland
BALLYHAUNIS, IRELAND-- Authorities have reported that the famous Leprechaun was beaten and robbed early Sunday morning after he mistakenly wandered into an immigrant-only no-go zone of Ireland. The Leprechaun was…
CNN: Trump Violently Attacks Reporter’s Microphone With His Face
JOINT BASE ANDREWS, MARYLAND-- The world's most trusted news source CNN has reported breaking news that President Donald Trump has viciously attacked an innocent news reporter's microphone in a fit…
