WILMINGTON, DELAWARE– In an unprecedented event that has left the Biden family reeling, former President Joe Biden and wife Jill were reportedly mortified last night after witnessing Hunter Biden on a television interview fully clothed, rather than the usual way their son walks around naked surrounded by drug paraphernalia, prostitutes, and grabbing his sweaty crotch.
Sources close to the Bidens said they were giddy with excitement expecting to watch one of Hunter’s hallmark naked public appearance, but were left stunned and confused as they tried grappling with the shame they felt seeing their son completely dressed.
“I can’t believe our son would do this to us,” said a visibly shaken Joe Biden as he looked away from the television screen in discomfort. “I feel like I don’t even know who that man is on the screen who’s not even at least flashing the world his hairy scrotum. I thought we brought up our son to be better than that.”
Mainstream media outlets were quick to attack Hunter Biden’s disgusting clothed display, refusing to air the interview due to the sensitive nature of Biden’s son going on national television without at least doing some crack cocaine first.
When reached for comment, Hunter tried downplaying the controversy, but admitted that he was completely sober during the interview. He later promised to make sure he was high and nude before doing any more public appearances.
