BEIJING, CHINA– It was a slightly embarrassing moment for the government of China after a cheaply made 34% tariff they placed on the United States had broken after only one use, causing the mortified CCP to issue a second tariff in its place.
In an effort to save their dignity and still appear strong, China quickly reissued a replacement tariff but raised it to 84% after world countries laughed at the typical poor quality of Chinese products.
“We apologize, there was a slight problem with our first tariff product,” said a spokesperson for the Chinese Communist Party. “Due to a slight manufacturing problem, we have reissued a second tariff on the United States in response to President Trump’s first order. In our haste to fight with the US, we put this first tariff together too quickly, using cheap materials and slave labor.”
The Chinese spokesperson guaranteed that the second tariff was much more resilient and would last a lot longer than the first one, promising that President Trump would get at least three uses out of it before it breaks again.
At publishing time, the United States had reported that the second China tariff had suddenly caught on fire for some unknown reason, with China claiming there would be no refunds because the warranty had already expired.
