WASHINGTON– After having a major argument with both President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky had totally forgotten the notes he was supposed to play for the penis piano recital he had planned for the White House to beg the United States for a few more billion dollars.
The president of Ukraine is well-known around the world as a talented penis piano player, releasing a critically-acclaimed music album back in 2016 titled My Penis, My Piano.
The distraught Zelensky was a bundle of nerves as he pulled down his pants to play the piano with his penis, but couldn’t remember the song he was supposed to play because Trump and Vance had broken his train of thought.
“Oh, I can’t remember my notes,” said Zelensky nervously to his piano partner, who also felt no shame in being naked from the waist down in front of millions of people. “Trump has broken me and rattled my creative ability. I only wish Kamala Harris had won the election so that I could continue my grift of taking billions of dollars a week from the stupid Americans.”
Due to his piano recital being a total disaster, Zelensky decided to just perform another one of his famous talents by dancing and grinding his body wearing high-heeled women’s shoes and tight leather clothes.
