KIEV, UKRAINE– It was an embarrassing moment for President Volodymyr Zelensky when he went to the store to purchase another $60,000 (USD) watch and had his card declined, later finding out that President Donald Trump had stopped all financial assistance to Ukraine.
Thinking it had to be a mistake, Zelensky tried running his debit card through the machine multiple times before finally calling his bank, otherwise known as the US government, to find out what had happened.
“This must be some mistake,” said Zelensky in a panic over the phone. “I was trying to buy my twenty-first Rolex watch and my card was declined. What is going on? President Biden was sending me billions of dollars every month and now all of a sudden I have no more funds. Please help me. I have five mansions that I have to pay for.”
Once he had found out that the Trump administration had turned the proverbial spigot of money off, Zelensky was forced to begin selling off some of his high-ticket items in an effort to pay some of his bills.
US Democrats, including California Senator Adam Schiff, later said the only reason Trump stopped sending Ukraine billions of US taxpayer dollars was because Trump is a Russian agent. Schiff also promised that he has irrefutable evidence that Trump is working for the Kremlin, but insisted he won’t ever be able to show it to anyone because it’s so secretive that even he doesn’t know where the evidence is located.
