WASHINGTON– After pardoning his son Hunter Biden for any crimes he may have committed related to Burisma, President Joe Biden has reassured Americans that the money laundering scam involving Ukraine will still continue.
Biden said that just because he pardoned his son Hunter it doesn’t mean that the Big Guy still doesn’t need to receive his necessary ten percent.
“Listen here, Jack, don’t get your hopes up,” said Biden to the American people while holding up a chart that explained how the money laundering scam worked. “Just because I pardoned my son Harry, or Henry, or whatever the hell his name is, doesn’t mean the Big Guy still won’t need his cut. In fact, this pardon just means that I can launder even more money because I’m not going to face any consequences. Now that’s Bidenomics.”
To prove that he’s actually telling the truth for once, the president signaled for his people to immediately send another $69 billion to Ukraine with a little note to President Zelensky signed “From, the Big Guy.”
Initial reports were that Zelensky was a little worried that the money was going to stop coming in after the pardon but was quickly relieved after checking his bank account and seeing another $69 billion deposit from US taxpayers.