NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– With ghost car crimes becoming more prevalent across the United States, the highly qualified FBI decided to take a break from arresting people for posting memes and went undercover as ghosts in an effort to stop the elusive spiritual beings from committing auto crimes.
The also invisible President Joe Biden had originally appointed his Vice President Kamala Harris as Ghost Czar, but like the border she didn’t do her job and pawned it off on someone else. Unbeknownst to the FBI, ghost cars are cars that have forged license plates.
“Our DEI agents here at the FBI are qualified, competent, and will make perfect ghosts,” said Special Agent Ima Shittburd in a recent press conference. “Ghosts criminals are the second biggest problem in the United States, with the number one job being dangerous grandmas waving American flags or praying in front of abortion clinics.”
Biden allocated $69 billion to the Federal Bureau of Investigation to create the Ghost Division and have hired another 100,000 agents who will go through a nine week training course to learn how to pretend to be real ghosts.
Special Agent Shittburd said the FBI will also be setting up another false flag, this time inside of a graveyard in the hopes of catching any apparitions who have not yet registered to vote Democrat.
