AUSTRALIA– WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was finally released from prison and immediately got onto a plane and headed back to his home country of Australia, where a mysterious but oddly familiar limousine driver was waiting to pick him up.
“Your limo is right here, sir,” said the blonde-haired limo driver as she opened the door for a confused Assange. “Pleasure to see you again, I mean, for the first time. My name’s, um, Haley Clifford and I’ll be your assassin, I mean, chauffeur this evening.”
Julian Assange reluctantly got into the limo right before the driver got inside of the car and then proceeded to lock all the doors and roll up the windows.
“This limo’s soundproof, so no one will hear you scream, sir, not that you’ll be screaming or anything,” said the limo driver as she cackled like a witch and then took off like a bat out of hell. “Say, um, Mr. Assange, congratulations on your freedom. I really hope you live a very long and happy life without any kind of accidents or without getting shot in the back of the head multiple times and then thrown into a dumpster.”
At publishing time it was reported that the limo carrying Assange had gone missing and the only pieces of evidence found were a pair of black sunglasses and limousine driver’s hat left on the ground near a large pool of blood.
