WASHINGTON– House Speaker Kevin McCarthy has officially launched an impeachment inquiry into Joe Biden due to the president not sending enough money to Ukraine and has also asked Congress to appoint Volodymyr Zelensky as commander-in-chief of the United States immediately after impeachment.
Dressed in a blue and yellow suit to show his undying support for Ukraine, McCarthy gave a brief press conference where he outlined all the times that Biden failed to uphold the wishes of the American people by giving even more money, weapons, and supplies to Ukraine.
“President Biden failed to do his job as US president by not putting Ukraine first,” said McCarthy after saluting the flag of Ukraine. “For example, last week President Biden only sent 600 billion dollars to Ukraine instead of giving them at least a trillion. I think it’s obvious to everyone that Biden is working on behalf of the Russian government.”
McCarthy said that the only thing the American people care about is getting more money to Ukraine.
Although the Democrats are opposed to the impeachment of Biden, they are in favor of sending more money to Ukraine and have informed the president that those hundreds of billions of dollars are not enough to launder back to themselves.
“Yes, it’s true President Biden needs to do more for Ukraine,” said Democrat Rep. Adam Schiff, opening his eyes as far as they could to stress the seriousness. “But I will be opposing President Biden’s impeachment if, and only if, the president agrees to send Ukraine at least a trillion gazillion bazillion dollars.”
At publishing time, members of the House threatened to bring a motion to vacate against McCarthy for only saluting the flag of Ukraine twenty times a day instead of twenty-five.
“McCarthy is a Putin puppet,” said Texas Republican Dan Crenshaw.
