U.S.– A new talking doll is set to be released this Christmas modeled after Kevin McCarthy and the manufacturer says it’s exactly like the real Republican House Speaker because the only thing the toy does is talk and takes no action whatsoever.
“This talking doll is an exact replica of Mr. McCarthy,” said toy company spokesperson Flipper Gilliam as he demonstrated how the McCarthy doll doesn’t work. “The only thing kids have to do is insert a coin into the doll’s pocket and the toy will tell you what you want to hear by saying one of McCarthy’s famous sayings.”
During the demonstration, Gilliam stuck a coin into the doll and it said in McCarthy’s voice, “Vote for me for House Speaker and I promise I’ll go after President Biden and also release the January 6 tapes and don’t worry, I’ll also get rid of those 87,000 IRS agents. Trust me.”
Gilliam said that because they were trying to make the doll as realistic to McCarthy as possible, unfortunately the only thing the toy does is talk, and talk, and talk.
“Sorry, kids, but if I’m going to be honest this toy is completely useless and should be gotten rid of,” said Gilliam when asked to best describe the talking toy. “It doesn’t have any actions or make any moves to actually do anything, but it sure does like to talk a lot and promise you the world.”
If sales are successful, said Gilliam, a whole line of dolls modeled after politicians will be released, including a Joe Biden talking doll that actually pees and craps its pants while saying the president’s best one liners like “C’mon, man” and “You ain’t black.”
