KENYA, AFRICA– In a touching story out of Africa, a trophy hunter spared killing a rhinoceros after zooming in on the large animal with his gun scope and realizing that the rhino looked exactly like his deceased mother.
The emotional hunter quickly put down his weapon and ran over to embrace the confused rhino, hugging and kissing the obese creature before asking if it could make him his favorite meatloaf meal for dinner.
“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” said the hunter to Kenyan news reporters as he nursed from the uncomfortable rhino. “I was just about to murder this rhino so I could take its head back to America and put it up on my wall when all of a sudden I heard the rhino telling me to go clean my room and don’t be late for dinner.”
As he suckled from the rhino’s teat, the hunter told his ungulate mother how much he loved her and was planning on bringing her back to the United States with him.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” The hunter asked while grabbing the rhino’s leathery face. “I told mom she’s coming back with me so I can take care of her and I won’t be taking ‘no’ for an answer. It’s not every day you get a second chance to see your deceased mom again.”
Upon further examination from some of the African locals, it was reported that the rhinoceros was in fact a male rhino and that it wasn’t a teat that the hunter was sucking on.
