DALLAS, TEXAS– An aggressive woman was arrested Tuesday for vandalizing a cop’s squad car after the police officer ran her over when he was parking his vehicle on a fast-food restaurant’s sidewalk to grab his lunch.
According to the police report, the 29-year-old woman was ignorantly walking on the public sidewalk when she refused to move out of the way for the cop who was on official police business and needed to park his cruiser on the sidewalk directly in front of the restaurant because he was extremely hungry.
“Another dangerous, homicidal maniac was taken off the streets today,” said Chief of Police Art Vandelay to news reporters. “Our brave officers pepper-sprayed, shot, and then arrested the female suspect for damaging police property and for resisting arrest by refusing the officer’s demands to come out from under the tire of his police vehicle.”
The chief went on to say that refusing to get out of the way when hungry cops are trying to park on a sidewalk in front of a local McDonalds is disgusting and blames people like her for the rise in anti-police hatred.
At publishing time, the cop who ran over the rude woman with his car was given a meritorious service award by the precinct and the woman is being held at the county morgue on $1,000,000 bail.
