CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA– In an effort to better reflect their support for the Communist Party of China, Apple CEO Tim Cook recently unveiled the company’s new logo that blends the old Apple logo with the flag of China.
“We’re pleased to announce that we’ve updated our Apple logo in order to appease our real boss, President Xi Jinping,” said Cook while kneeling in front of a photo of the Chinese president. “With Elon Musk pushing the boundaries by offering free speech on Twitter, we were left with no choice but to let everyone know exactly where we stand with our new communist logo.”
Cook explained that he was just doing his duty as a patriotic, communist-sympathizing, anti-free speech American by both threatening to ban Twitter from their app store and also assisting China’s government in cracking down against Chinese protesters.
“Heil, President Xi,” said Cook, saluting the new China-inspired Apple logo. “I can’t in good faith allow Mr. Musk to use his freedom of speech Twitter platform to expose all the cheap slave labor Apple uses to produce those shiny, new phones that are used to track Americans .”
The office of President Xi submitted a message on their official Twitter account informing the world that they cannot allow free speech on the social media platform and told Elon Musk that if he doesn’t fall in line then they will have no choice but to tweet repeatedly that they’re leaving Twitter.
