HELL– While giving a speech in front of the Gates of Hell along with his father Satan, President Joe Biden declared that the dangerous MAGA Republicans have been promoted from lowly semi-fascists to the all-powerful super-duper-mostest-ultimate-maximum fascists.
As his red-horned dad made room in Hell for all the future newcomers, Biden gave a fiery speech attacking the MAGA Republicans for their tyrannical viewpoints regarding wanting freedom, lowering crime, and making America a better place to live for themselves and their families.
“Due to the despotic actions of those MAGA Republicans I was left with no choice but to give them a new title,” said Biden as demons entered into his frail body to help him speak without stuttering. “From this moment on, anyone who supports Trump will now be labeled as a super-duper-mostest-ultimate-maximum fascist who is a threat to my father’s plan to help make the world truly great again for his return.”
Biden said that him and his dad only want what’s best for humanity and in return only ask that everyone fall down to their feet and worship them while getting an innocent little mark placed upon their forehead.
“It won’t hurt a bit,” said Biden, referring to being branded with the mark of the beast. “If you don’t want Satan’s mark of the beast on your forehead then you’re just a homophobic, racist, transphobic ultra-MAGA Trump supporter. Trust me, Jack, Hell’s a pretty nice place. Just imagine, you’ll have warm weather all year, free room and board, and you never have to worry about working again. It’s like the ultimate form of government handouts.”
