LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– Gracing this month’s cover of Vogue magazine is famous plus-size musician Lardo, whom fashion writers are calling “the most beautiful, fit, and healthiest woman on the planet.”
Pop star Lardo, whose latest music single Hungry As Hell went platinum, spoke with Vogue writers about how she stays so fit and healthy and also about her secret to keeping her waist size down to a respectable 112 inches.
“Every woman in the world is jealous of Lardo’s body and wants to look just like her,” wrote the writer of the article, being completely serious. “Every little girl should strive to look just like Lardo by weighing over 400 pounds, requiring 60 meals a day, and passing out from only walking two feet.”
Lardo claims she keeps her sexy body by eating her daily 200 donuts, 500 slices of pizza, 50 pounds of ice cream, 30 buckets of fried chicken, and 1,200 diet Cokes.
“I also get plenty of exercise keeping all the thirsty men away,” said Lardo in the article, referring to the billions of men around the world who won’t stop hitting on her. “I ain’t got time for all those loser men. All the men want me and all the women want to be me.”
A Vogue staffer reported that Lardo had to be airlifted by cargo plane during the interview after suffering her 69th heart attack this week, saying it’s obviously due to all the stress of being so healthy and fit, not due to her massive weight.
