HONOLULU, HAWAII– A shark from Hawaii has filed a massive lawsuit after breaking his tooth trying to rip a swimmer’s leg off, saying the man’s leg also got caught inside his throat while swallowing it whole.
Sammy Shark, 9, filed suit against the swimmer whose leg he ripped off and has also filed suit against the state of Hawaii, alleging the defendant’s irresponsibility caused him to lose one of his most important teeth.
“This is blatant discrimination against sharks, plain and simple,” said Sammy’s lawyer Steve Shark, whose no relation to the Plaintiff. “My client was minding his own business eating his lunch when the swimmer began thrashing around in an effort to break free from Sammy’s bite, causing my client to break his tooth.”
The lawyer for Sammy claims his client can no longer attack humans the natural way by using his teeth to rip their limbs off and now has to resort to cutting up their bodies first with sharp knives like some kind of invalid.
“We’re suing the state of Hawaii for a respectable $900 trillion,” said Steve the lawyer after biting off a human’s head and then spitting it into Sammy’s mouth like a Momma bird feeding its young. “We’re also seeking a lifetime supply of fresh human meat who won’t fight my client as he eats them alive. And please, no politicians, they give my client an upset stomach.”
