WASHINGTON– The Disinformation Governance Board has recently hired all the highly respected and totally honest hosts from CNN as a way to get the real truth out to the American people and to also make the newly formed US Ministry of Truth department appear even more legitimate.
After employing all the truthful former members of America’s Most Trusted News Source, the new government entity wasted no time rebranding their image as a reputable, trustworthy gatekeeper of what they deem legitimate information.
“Only we can disseminate to the public about what’s fact and what’s fiction,” said former CNN host Brian Stelter in his new government role as Disinformation agent. “Our CNN fact checkers and anonymous sources will fit in perfectly in their new role as purveyors of lies and coverups for the United States government.”
Also joining the new Disinformation Governance Board are former distinguished CNN personalities Chris Cuomo, Don Lemon, and Anderson Cooper. Cooper says transitioning to the Ministry of Truth department was an easy move for him being that he is already working for the CIA as a undercover propagandist.
“Free speech doesn’t include having your own opinions or going against the Party,” said Don Lemon as he smelled his fingers. “Open discussions, diverse opinions, and freedom to choose what you believe in are a threat to our democracy and must be squashed before Americans start thinking they have the right to believe that Joe Biden is not the most popular president in history who legitimately won the election with over 900 trillion votes.”
At publishing time, the newly hired CNN hosts were already being accused of sexual misconduct but immediately had their crimes swept under the rug due to the fact that they’re now government employees.
