WASHINGTON– To better protect Ukraine and also Biden’s shady business dealings, President Joe Biden signed a special proclamation Sunday admitting the country of Ukraine into the Union as the 51st state of America.
During a special ceremony at the White House, Biden signed the act making Ukraine an official part of the United States and therefore giving the Pentagon the greenlight to declare war on Russia to protect the dozens of biolabs Vladimir Putin has recently exposed.
“It is my honor to now welcome the country of, uh, Ukulele into Canada,” said Biden, referring to Ukraine joining the United States. “Now that Ukraine’s a part of America, I’m putting Russia’s president Putin on notice that if he continues to invade then I’ll be forced to ask Obama what I’m supposed to do next.”
Immediately after Ukraine became the 51st state, Biden appointed his son Hunter as the Ukrainian diplomat due to his expertise at handling shady business deals and for his highly professional ability to have sex with Chinese prostitutes on camera while smoking crack.
The majority of Congress praised Biden’s decision to admit Ukraine into the US, saying anyone who doesn’t agree with adopting Ukraine is a traitor to America and a puppet of Russia.
In light of this special occasion, Congress unanimously passed another bill to send another $900 trillion to Ukraine, with $899 trillion of that money funneling back into the bank accounts of members of Congress.
