WASHINGTON– After giving an unforgettable State of the Union Address, Joe Biden’s approval rating among the 150 year old and up deceased crowd has jumped dramatically, signaling an assured victory for the president in the upcoming 2024 presidential election.
According to a recent national poll, the latest boost to his approval rating happened after pollsters surveyed a few local cemeteries and found that most dead people approved of the job Biden was doing and plan on voting for him in 2024.
“Biden’s my man, and not even death will stop me from supporting him,” said a 182-year-old deceased voter from his grave. “I voted for Joe in the 2020 election against Trump and I plan on voting for him two more times in the next presidential election. I don’t even need to leave my grave to vote now that the Democrats passed mail-in voting laws.”
Pollsters were astounded at the drastic increase in Biden’s poll numbers, saying that no other president in the history of the United States has ever seen impressive numbers among the dead as the current Commander-in-Chief.
“This is an unusual bounce for a sitting Democrat president, especially one as asleep as Biden,” said Jack MeHoffer, director of the Dead People For Democrats Institute who conducted the poll. “Never in my lifetime has a sitting president been this popular among the over 150 year old demographic.”
Political pundits say this dramatic increase in dead voter support is not shocking being that Biden is the most popular president in history, beating his opponent Trump by an outstanding 500 gazillion votes.
A few famous deceased individuals who were interviewed said they’re proud to vote Democrat and are already throwing their support for Biden’s reelection, including first president George Washington, American pop singer Elvis Presley, American Civil War General George Custer, and famous Native American woman Pocahontas.
