WASHINGTON– In a very rare moment of honesty that only comes around maybe once in a lifetime, Democrats have told the truth by admitting that they don’t even care about lying anymore and have just come right out and aptly named the new viral outbreak the ‘Mail-In Ballot Midterm Variant.’
In a press conference this morning, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi took a few shots of liquid courage before telling news reporters that it doesn’t make any sense for her and her Democratic colleagues to even tell the truth anymore being that no politician ever gets held accountable for their wrongdoings.
“Due to the seriousness of us losing the upcoming 2022 elections we’re calling this new pandemic scam the Mail-In Ballot Midterm Variant,” said Pelosi after belching into the microphone. “Everyone knows by now that we lie, cheat, steal and never get caught, so why bother spending the extra time coming up with a new fabricated cover story.”
Numerous Republican politicians took to Twitter in faux anger to write strongly worded tweets about how outraged they are regarding the Democrats having the courage to admit their crimes, unlike the cowardly GOP members who still pretend they’re on the side of the American people.
“This is typical partisan politics by the Democrats and we won’t stand for it,” wrote Mitch McConnell, using a few angry emojis to let everyone know he was serious this time. “Once the Republicans take back the House we’ll make sure we pass legislature that makes it illegal for Democrats to tell the truth.”
McConnell went on to say that the only way the Republicans can stop the Democrats from telling the truth and rigging the upcoming elections is by every American sending donations to the GOP via RepublicanRINOS.com. Democrat supporters can also send in donations by purchasing unique artwork painted by world famous artist and part-time Italian chef Hunter Biden.