LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND– A 92 year old senior citizen was recently arrested in Britain after UK authorities discovered that the man had misgendered one of his male classmates during grade school.
The now senile offender Nigel Humphreys was only a 12 year old elementary student attending the privileged All-Male Academy for Boys when the hate crime occurred.
The victim was a male classmate who later stated that he was offended when Humphreys had called him “lad” instead of “lass.” In order to protect the victim, their name has not been released, even though he has been dead for 32 years.
Authorities found out about the terrible crime when the victim’s great-great-granddaughter informed police that her great-great grandfather told her in private about the incident and that he had been harboring the agonizing secret for decades.
The great-great granddaughter also made dozens of paid television appearances on various BBC News media outlets to tell the world about the dangers of decades old gender mislabeling.
According to the police report, then 12 year old Humphreys was seated next to the victim in class when he had turned to him, smiled, and asked “How are you doing today, lad?”
The violent criminal Humphreys is being held in a secure prison without bail. Humphreys asked for leniency due to the fact that he only has 2 months to live and also doesn’t even remember the incident, but fortunately he was denied.
The victim stated that he was “extremely offended” by the “lad” remark because Humphreys should have asked him by which pronoun he identified as on that day. After years of extensive psychotherapy due to chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the victim finally died from complications from the event when he passed away from natural causes.
Due to the seriousness of the crime, the geriatric criminal Humphreys is being held in a maximum security prison with armed guards standing by to shoot the old geezer in case he tries to escape with his wheelchair.
Bad man Humphreys faces 200 years in prison and will have to pay £53,792,779.50 GBP ($69 million USD) in restitution to the victim’s families and also to anyone not even directly involved in the crime, but who may have felt offended by the old man’s callous remark.
