ATLANTA, GEORGIA– You’ve heard of chickens going on strike, but how about their eggs? In an unprecedented move, the Easter Bunny has teamed up with the largest chicken union in the country to protest the use of eggs on Easter.
After 180 million eggs dyed during last year’s Easter holiday, chickens around the country got together to protest this barbaric procedure.
Once the Easter Bunny caught wind of the strike, the famous rabbit immediately made a phone call to Hennifer Cluck, head of the United Chicken Union. The Easter Bunny is no stranger to suffering after he was captured by an anti-holiday terrorist group back in 2017.
“Egg lives matter too,” said the Easter Bunny in an interview with CNN. “I’ve been dealing with this guilt for years, not only because I’m a fellow animal, but also the fact that I’m a vegetarian. I think it’s about time people start respecting all lives. Eggs don’t wanna dye, would you?”
This is the strongest protest to date, with chickens, eggs, and the influential Easter Bunny all joining forces to stop eggs from dyeing.
“Me and my fellow eggs refuse to dye merely for people’s enjoyment,” said Shelly Egghart, the egg who’s spearheading the strike. “That’s why we’ve not only teamed up with the Easter Bunny, but also the company that produces the Egg Cheaters egg substitute.”
The Easter Bunny has gone on record to say that even though he won”t be delivering eggs this year, he’ll still be celebrating the holiday with gifts.
“I already have my baskets of egg substitutes ready,” the rabbit promised. “I know children will enjoy these smelly, liquid fake eggs just as much as the real thing.”
My hair went on strike years ago….😓😭😫