QUEENS, NEW YORK– After decades of being too inclusive, Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day is getting a much-needed makeover and will now be called Father’s Day.
Since its inception in 1966, Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day has celebrated anyone and everyone who has identified as a father, whether they were actually a father or not.
After years of protests, lobbying, and whining, father’s rights groups around the country have finally convinced the masses that Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day should be a day to celebrate men who are actually fathers.
Frank and Estelle Costanza are a progressive husband and wife team who led the charge in having the antiquated holiday’s name changed to better suit the ever-evolving world.
Frank and Estelle gave a brief interview to reporters inside of their favorite restaurant Monk’s Cafe.
“What the hell’s a Ze anyway?” Acerbic Frank Costanza yelled at a timid reporter. “All these archaic conservatives have been holding us back as humans for far too long. The damn world is changing and it’s about time the people and holidays change along with it.”
Frank stopped to scream at his wife Estelle before adding, “I got tired off all the incorrect labels and political incorrectness. How can a father show how much of a disappointment his son is if a holiday includes everyone? Now that Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day will be only for real male fathers, fathers everywhere can safely and officially let their kids know what a mistake they were.”
During the interview, Frank and Estelle Costanza assured everyone that their first order of business on the new Father’s Day will be to invite their son George over for dinner and berate him endlessly.
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