LONDON, ENGLAND– An odd law was recently passed by British officials that requires anyone driving a vehicle on any road to only drive in reverse. Officials claim that the exorbitant amount of forward-driving accidents made it necessary to come up with the idea.
According to Nigel Huxley, spokesman for Britain’s Highway Transportation Authority, vehicle accidents caused by cars in the drive option have been increasing every year. Huxley claims that forcing people to drive in reverse can’t be that much worse.
“How much more bloody bad could it be?” Huxley asked a group of reporters on the steps of the HTA building. “We came to the ultimate conclusion that if our citizens are driving in reverse then they’ll be more cognizant of their surroundings and also their fellow drivers while out on our highways.”
Statistically speaking, says Huxley, driving in reverse has proven to be a far safer alternative to driving forward.
“Britain’s not the first place to test out this reverse driving,” Huxley added as passersby shouted obscenities and gave him middle-fingered gestures. “According to our dubious research team, countries like Afghanistan, Iraq, and Sudan have already implemented a reverse-only driving law and their vehicle-related accidents have actually decreased.”
He added, “Unfortunately though, pedestrian-related deaths from reverse driving have skyrocketed, but we’re working on a new law that will force all pedestrians and bicycle riders to also go in reverse.”
Huxley wants all drivers to know that they have until February 30th of next year to keep driving forward.
“We decided to give everyone until next year’s double leap year to prepare. What better way to go backwards then by moving forward.”
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