SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA– A new groundbreaking animal act that’s been touring the world over the last three months is now coming to the San Diego Zoo for one week only. Tickets for this week’s shows have already sold out and media outlets are calling this one of the most exciting animal shows on earth.
The Monkeys In Lasting Friendship exhibit, or M.I.L.F. for short, consists of a trio of highly trained green monkeys that prance around their cages and pick at each others scalps. It took the M.I.L.F. handlers five years to train the mischievous monkeys to pick at each other’s heads, eat bananas, and have intercourse all on cue.
Steven Owens, one of the monkey handlers, told reporters that it was a daunting task just trying to get the monkeys to cooperate with their human counterparts.
“People don’t realize what goes on behind the scenes,” he said, holding Leia’s hairy hand. “It took eight years of college and ten years of internship to be able to train these monkeys to do what most people think comes naturally to them.”
According to Owens, monkeys Luke and Leia are siblings, and Han was brought in to join forces with the other two.
“Han’s sort of a scoundrel,” said Owens as Luke started having intercourse with Leia for the cameras. “Even though it took us two years to get Han to make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, he finally saved Luke and Leia at the end.”
Anyone who hasn’t purchased their tickets for Monkeys In Lasting Friendship is unfortunately out of luck. The show sold out within three hours and a statement on the M.I.L.F. Facebook page says that the next show in California won’t be until early next year.
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