HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– In yet another slow news day, Kanye West has been all over various media outlets after being named “Kanye West of the Year” for the 38th year in a row, tying him in first place with this years other winner Kanye West.
According to a Time magazine blurb, Kanye West beat out numerous other influential individuals to once again take home the dubious title.
“No one deserves this like Kanye,” said Lou Swanson, 43 year old senior editor for Time magazine. “This wasn’t an easy choice this year, believe me. We had a lot of top contenders for the title, including two scientists, four world leaders, a Nobel Prize winner and the guy who discovered the cure for every disease in existence.”
Time magazine goes through a rigorous screening process to try and weed out any individuals deemed unworthy of the illustrious honor.
“Once we randomly pick people’s names out of a phone book,” Swanson explained, “we write all the names on scraps of old Time magazine pages and put them in a hat where one of the bums who sleeps on Time’s front steps throws up on one of the names. I know, it’s genius.”
Look for Kanye West on the cover of next month’s Time magazine with his head turned to the side.
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