HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– Reality television star and former Olympic hero Caitlyn Jenner will be memorialized for eternity with her likeness on one of the most famous architectural designs in history.
According to the always reliable MSNBC news outlet, the handsome Caitlyn Jenner was selected out of a group of the world’s most influential people, which included the likes of Kanye West, Justin Beiber and Paris Hilton. The move to immortalize Miss Jenner is in recognition for everything that she has done to improve, advance and propel modern civilization into a superior world, and also to increase awareness and prevent any bigotry toward trans-gendered, former Olympic heroes with reality television shows.
“The world needs this,” Anti-Defamation League lawyer Neal N. Down told reporters, standing in front of the ADL’s Los Angeles office. “Trans-gendered, former Olympic heroes with reality television shows need to be recognized as real people and much more advanced than the rest of us. What better way to let the world know that the United States of America is leading the way in the trans-gendered, former Olympic heroes with reality television shows movement.”
When asked by a Sudanese news correspondent how the United States was going to fit Caitlyn Jenner’s likeness on an already crowded mountain, an edgy Down was evasive. “Well, as you may or may not know, our founding fathers were a bunch of racist, drunken hillbillies who couldn’t draft an amendment if their lives depended on it, which it did.
“Obviously there’s going to be some architectural issues,” Down added, hesitating. “We’ve got a team of architects and draftsmen working on blueprints right now, but I can assure you that we’ll get Miss Jenner up there even if we have to remove Lincoln’s beard. Either that, or one of our architects had the ingenious idea of putting Jenner’s face under Washington’s navel, sort of like a fabulous, modern-age totem pole.”
Work on the Jenner project is set to officially begin after Jenner gets her next facial surgery treatment.
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