Bill Gates Promises His New GMO Mosquitos Are Just As Safe And Effective As His Vaccines
MEDINA, WASHINGTON-- After all the recent reports that the new genetically modified mosquitos Bill Gates had released in Florida and Texas have been causing people harm, the billionaire philanthropist set…
After Stealing Everything In San Francisco, Thieves Start Robbing Each Other
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- After stealing everything in San Francisco, thieves in The Golden City were left with the choice to either stop stealing or begin robbing other criminals, so they…
Alex Jones Says Mitch McConnell Didn’t Freeze, But Was Communicating Telepathically With Aliens
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- While the rest of the world believed that Mitch McConnell froze during a speech due to a medical disorder, popular radio show host Alex Jones said that everyone…
Worried U.S. Politicians Relieved After Hearing Hurricane Idalia Hit Florida Instead Of Ukraine
WASHINGTON-- Stress levels were at an all-time high for U.S. politicians after first reports were saying that Hurricane Idalia was headed toward Ukraine, but they were quickly relieved once they…
Ron DeSantis Sends Illegal Hurricane Idalia To Martha’s Vineyard
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA-- In order to avert another unlawful alien invasion, Governor Ron DeSantis ordered law enforcement to capture Hurricane Idalia as soon as it touched land in Florida and have…
Biden Prepares For New COVID Vaccine Rollout By Practicing His Saline Injection Performances
WASHINGTON-- While fielding questions from White House news reporters, Joe Biden revealed that an all-new and improved COVID vaccine will be released soon and he has been preparing for its…
Angry, Fed Up Republicans Threaten To Write Their Sternest Letters Yet In Response To Democrats Indictment Of Trump
WASHINGTON-- Republicans in Congress are done playing games and have had it with the Democrats unjust treatment of Donald Trump, responding to the indictment of the former president with the…
Mugshot Released Of Phone Trump Used During Georgia Election Case
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Former President Donald Trump's Oval Office phone was booked at the Fulton County jail Thursday on state charges it conspired to help overturn the 2020 presidential election in…
Republican Primary Candidates Debate On Stage To Become Next President Of Ukraine
U.S.-- Eight Republican candidate hopefuls graced the debate stage last night on Fox News in the belief that they have what it takes to become the next president of Ukraine,…
Chinese Citizens Mystified By Strange, Round, Orange Object Floating In China Sky
BEIJING, CHINA-- An extremely unusual occurrence happened in China this week when a peculiar orange, round-shaped object lightly appeared in the middle of the normally smog-covered sky, causing thousands of…
Biden Tells Maui Victims He Knows How They Feel Due To The Time He Burnt His Tongue On Buffalo Chicken Wings
MAUI, HAWAII-- After waiting two weeks to visit Maui to make sure the money he sent to Ukraine had cleared first, an empathetic Joe Biden told all the victims of…
Biden Comes Out As Gay, Says He’s Been Dating Robert L. Peters Behind Wife Jill’s Back
WASHINGTON-- Unable to hide his sexuality any longer due to the recent news concerning the elusive Robert L. Peters, Joe Biden has officially come out as gay and said that…
