Beto O’Rourke Glues Himself To Texas Fence To Stop Biden From Finishing Border Wall
RIO GRANDE, TEXAS-- In a desperate attempt to stop Joe Biden from finishing construction on the southern Texas border wall, former Democrat Rep. Beto O'Rourke superglued his entire body to…
Biden Sends Commander To Dr. Fauci For Dog Obedience Training
WASHINGTON-- After Joe Biden's dog Commander bit another member of the White House staff, the president decided to send his young German Shepherd pet to the Democrat's favorite esteemed canine…
Kevin McCarthy Stalks Capitol Building Begging Congress Members To Take Him Back
WASHINGTON-- In a desperate attempt to get his old job back, ousted Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was seen wandering around the outside of the US Capitol Building stalking and…
Death Row Inmate Pulls Fire Alarm To Delay Execution
MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA-- A death row inmate who was only minutes away from facing execution pulled the execution chamber's fire alarm in an effort to delay his capital punishment. John Wayne…
Genius Kid Teaches Idiot Democrat Congressman How To Use Fire Alarm
WASHINGTON-- A video has gone viral on social media Sunday showing a highly intelligent 5-year-old boy teaching moronic Congressman Jamaal Bowman how to properly use a fire alarm after the…
DOJ Arrests Cannon House Fire Alarm For Attempted Insurrection
WASHINGTON-- The unbiased Department of Justice (DOJ) has arrested the fire alarm from the Cannon House Building for attempting to commit a dangerous insurrection on Saturday, also charging the alarm…
Gavin Newsom Signs California Law Raising Fast Food Worker Minimum Wage To $20,000 Per Hour
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Within a crowd of cheering people, Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom signed a law in California that will raise minimum wage for fast food workers to $20,000 per hour,…
New York City Introduces NYPD Police Pursuit Gondolas In Response To Flooding
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Massive flooding has overtaken New York this week hampering the efforts of law enforcement to do their jobs and in response the NYPD has unveiled new…
Mitch McConnell Swallows Nervously After Watching Grim Reaper Grab Dianne Feinstein
WASHINGTON-- Senator Dianne Feinstein was taken by the Grim Reaper recently and on her way to the afterlife passed directly in front of Republican Senator Mitch McConnell who quickly stopped…
Canada’s Justin Trudeau Apologizes For Wearing Whiteface
OTTAWA, CANADA-- A rare photo surfaced recently of Justin Trudeau wearing what appeared to be "whiteface" only days after a news story broke that the prime minister's plane was filled…
Chris Christie Releases New Campaign Slogan: ‘Vote For Me Or I’ll Hug Obama Again’
U.S.-- Republican presidential candidate Chris Christie has unveiled a new campaign slogan in an effort to boost his struggling poll numbers, threatening the American people that if they don't vote…
Hunter Biden Offers To Trade 36 Of His Paintings For Trump’s Mar-A-Lago Resort
PALM BEACH, FLORIDA-- As soon as word spread that a New York judge had ruled that Mar-a-Lago was only worth $18 million, an excited Hunter Biden quickly phoned President Donald…
