WUHAN, CHINA– A worldwide panic has been growing rapidly after the government of China released a frightening video of Chinese citizens suddenly dropping dead in the streets, with CCP President Xi Jinping claiming the loss of life is due to President Donald Trump’s tariffs.
The Chinese Communist Party put out a statement saying that Trump’s tariff war was killing people unexpectedly and warned that the tariff virus was quickly spreading to the rest of the world and has called on Trump to drop the tariffs immediately or face more unnecessary deaths.
“For the sake of human life, I’m asking President Trump to stop the tariffs immediately,” said President Xi in an address to the nation. “People are just suddenly dropping dead from President Trump’s tariffs. I promise this is not a propaganda video to get Trump to back down. I understand we lied about the video we put out of people dropping dead suddenly in the streets from COVID in 2020, but I promise we are telling the truth this time.”
President Xi went on to say that he has quarantined the entire city of Wuhan due to the trade war and has urged Trump to stop the tariffs or face countless people in the United States also coming down with the tariff virus.
Democrats in Congress have called Trump’s trade war with China both racist and xenophobic and are calling on Trump to shut down the economy and quarantine everyone while they go out partying and eating in fancy restaurants.
Not one to let a great opportunity go to waste, Pfizer has already introduced a new vaccine to fight the debilitating effects of Trump’s tariffs in what has been labeled Operation Warped Speed.
