RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA– After feeling slighted that he wasn’t invited to the Russia-Ukraine peace talks, Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky decided to spy on the secret proceedings in Saudi Arabia by posing as a little garden gnome and hiding in plain sight so that he could get inside information as to what was being said.
Dressed in a pointed red hat and cute little elf-like shoes, Zelensky stood frozen in front of the large government building where the meetings were taking place as important world leaders passed by discussing how they could end the major war as soon as possible.
“They’ll never know this is me standing down here,” mumbled Zelensky as Marco Rubio and Vladimir Putin stood only a few feet away. “How dare they all glance right over me like I’m not a real president. I won that Ukrainian election fair and square and I will continue to win elections being that I stopped having them.”
While in the middle of their discussion, Putin abruptly stopped speaking and asked Rubio if he had heard someone talking in a very faint, high-pitched voice.
“What was that noise?” Putin asked as the two men glanced around nervously, looking right over Zelensky’s head. “It kind of sounds like a cross between a mouse and a man who inhaled too much helium.”
Looking around, Putin then went on to tell Rubio, “I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since…“
