PALM BEACH, FLORIDA– President-Elect Donald Trump doubled down on his desire to take over the Panama Canal and has promised to make Van Halen’s iconic song Panama the official national anthem of the United States once the deal is done.
After Panama’s President Mulino once again refused to make a deal by allowing America to take back the rights to the Panama Canal, Trump tried bringing more Americans on board with his plan by saying he would update the antiquated US national anthem with something new and exciting.
“I have the deal of a century,” wrote Trump on his Truth Social account. “This goes out to, not just the president of Panama, but also the American people. If the US officially takes back the Panama Canal, and possibly the entire country of Panama eventually, I will make the great rock band Van Halen’s beautiful song Panama the new national anthem of the United States. But this deal will only happen once Canada, Greenland, and also Panama become out 51st, 52nd, and 53rd states. Together we’ll make Panama great again. MAGA.”
Trump tried whetting people’s appetite for the acquirement of the Panama Canal by changing his famous Trump dance song YMCA to Van Halen’s Panama and said once the deal goes through he’d even fly across the stage on a wire the same way singer David Lee Roth did forty years ago.
After facing minor criticism due to him trying to totally replace the original US national anthem The Star-Spangled Banner, Trump agreed to combine the two songs into one and rename it The Star-Spangled Panama.
