WASHINGTON– National Public Radio (NPR) has suspended its longtime editor Karl Marx this week, saying the revolutionary socialist wasn’t far-left enough and didn’t quite fit in with the company’s growing progressive ideology.
The self-described super-woke NPR said they had given Marx multiple warnings in the past to stop spreading his more right-leaning philosophies, as written in many of his books such as The Communist Manifesto.
The final straw for NPR came when Marx said that the working class should be able to pursue its own interests, which didn’t sit well with NPR CEO Katherine Maher.
“We here at NPR do not tolerate any of our employees deviating from the Party,” said NPR’s Maher, dressed in drab military fatigues. “We strongly disagree with Mr. Karl Marx’s watered down version of communism. How will we ever progress as a society when the peasants still have rights?”
After finally firing the conservative Karl Marx, NPR was proud to announce they had already replaced him with Cambodian communist revolutionary Pol Pot who was responsible for the deaths of 3 million people.
