SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA– BTS fans around the world are going super crazy after the famous South Korean boy band made an earthshattering announcement on their official website that they had just introduced a new 89-year-old member to the group in an effort to attract a much, much older fanbase.
The message on the official BTS page said that even though they cherished their millions of young K-pop fans, the Spring Day singers were looking to branch out to a more diverse group of people and decided to hire an almost one hundred year old man to tap into the much sought-after elderly demographic.
BTS has a huge announcement
“We have the best news, everyone,” the BTS message started out. “We’re proud to announce that we have a new member of the BTS family. Our new singer Yeonggam is a spry, agile 89-year-old superstar who we promise will bring a much-needed improvement to our band.”
One of the original members of the band Jungkook said he believed that hiring a man old enough to be his great-great grandfather was a step in the right direction to improve their image and sales. He added that most boy bands throughout music history have had an older member anyway to diversify the group.
“Yeonggam is like the great-great grandfather I never had, or really asked for,” said Jungkook when asked about what it was like working with a member who was older than any of his own relatives. “I look up to Yeonggam even though he’s actually shorter than me. He has truly inspired me to be more like him in many ways, such as waking up at 2:30 in the morning every day, going to bed at 4 in the afternoon, and listening to music on something called a record player.”
Time to say goodbye
But like everything in life, all good things must unfortunately come to an end.
“We have some sad news, everyone.”
At publishing time, BTS had announced some sad news on their social media accounts that their newest senior citizen boy band member had just died due to a rare condition known as “old age.” Members of the group said that they would probably be a little more upset about Yeonggam’s untimely death had they known him for more than three hours.
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What a shame. That old singer was much more attractive than Jungkook.
Does anyone know if BTS is going to replace that old singer with an even older one? Maybe someone at least 100 years old would be cuter.
Just think that’s what jungkook will look like in a few years.
The newest bts singer was so hot, too bad he croaked. RIP.
This would actually be an interesting idea. They should make a boy band with all old people, at least 70 yrs old and up.
So sad, he was my favorite BTS member. RIP.
I’m a BTS fan, but I enjoy satire.
Any other BTS fans other than me upset about Yeonggam. 😭
I first became a fan of BTS when they hired the gorgeous singer Yeonggam, but since he’s gone now I can no longer listen to their music without sadness.
I heard Joe Biden will be joining BTS next.
Will BTS be performing at his funeral?🤔
I was wondering who that old guy was on a poster on my grandmoms ceiling.
Which ones the old guy?